sweet sadie.

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sunday night sadie had fallen asleep in my arms
I held her close for as long as i could and i didn’t want to let her go, my arms wrapped around her tight and her hand clutching mine
I  whispered now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep……
it feels like just yesterday she as fighting for her life in the nicu and now she is 2
as I held her I couldn’t help but hold back tears
where does this precious time go?
I just wanted to freeze it
freeze that moment
but instead I closed my eyes and listened to her sleep so peaceful. I put my phone down, I stopped, and I took in that moment.
secretly hoping they would all just stop growing and that time could stand still, in this moment, forever.

headband c/o little hip squeaks  >>> top c/o loved by hannah and eli

A Weekend at The Carlyle

 

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Over the weekend, the prettiest hotel in all of NYC, The Carlyle in my  opinion invited us for the weekend to see just what The Sophie Experience was at all about. All I can say, it was amazing. A hotel that greets you with a breathtaking 1200 square foot suite overlooking central park with ceiling to floor windows and cupcakes from Magnolia’s Bakery is the best of the best in my book. It was such a special weekend away with my oldest girls and so very long overdue. My Mom and Grandmother came along to be with us since it was the first time my oldest girls had gone into the city. Grayson and Sadie stayed back with Andrew since I just felt Sadie is still young and would have been so tired playing tourist. It was such a nice break and a wonderful experience. You can read all about our trip over on Babble.com. I was so thankful for this amazing time we had. It was so nice to disconnect from our normal weekend life and to experience the city together. I cherished every minute and already miss the memories we made!

brickyard buffalo // guest editor

when the girls over at brickyard buffalo asked me to be guest editor well, of course you know the answer to this question. ummm, YES please! brickyard buffalo is pretty-amazing. scratch that, they are amazing. three girls that I just love and a whole bunch plus cute stuff daily. you can read more about my love affair with brickyard buffalo on babble but for now – head over to check out my picks for sale now all this week! drooling over them all.

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update!

hi loves! we are still working on things over here but thanks for stopping by! I promise, posts will soon be all imported and things will be back to normal soon. and all of the blank pages will be updated too so you can browse around the new amazing site design and get to know me some more! in the meantime, please take a minute to sign up for email updates on the sidebar so you don’t miss a thing!

 

Filming American Blogger

on sadie // freshly picked mocs // the printed palette tee // salt city emporium headband // duchess and lion shorts 

on grayson // carly megan shop leggings and feather onesie // freshly picked mocs 

Casey Weigand has been one of my best cyber friends. We’ve never met in real life but I feel she truly is my soul sister. If you don’t read her blog, you should start now because she is such an inspiring person with the biggest heart. Today, I was lucky enough to spend time with her amazing husband and film maker, Chris. And now I see why they are the perfect pair. 

When Casey shared their big secret with me and asked me to be apart of the film I felt so blessed and honored to be included. American Blogger is a documentary about bloggers.  You might remember when I shared my thoughts and told you all about the film here. But if not, Chris is currently traveling cross country to film 50 bloggers — interviewing them, sharing their lives on camera, documentary the journey in his airstream which he renovated himself. And oh my — it’s truly amazing.  I am not lying when I looked on Craigslist for one today. 

When Chris arrived I wanted to give him a little airstream house warming gift so I put his favorite snack into a pretty little basket I picked up – filled with Chocolate Chip cookies and Dr. Pepper. A little blogger hospitality if you will. I just felt like I needed to thank him in some way for creating this film and letting me part of it. I will say I was pretty nervy when it came to go time but Chris was so wonderful and made me feel relaxed and at ease.

We spent the day touring the airstream a few times, snapping photos for instagram, Chris interviewed me and we just hung out and chatted. It was so nice to meet him after already following this journey and the hashtag #americanblogger (on instagram) along the way. I can’t wait to see the film and all of the bloggers involved. I know everything that Chris touches is just brilliant and really is just so great at doing what he loves. This evening I spent some more time on his website, watching his home movies and short films and it reminded me — I really feel so lucky to have worked with him. It was such a great day and we all enjoyed the time with Chris.

For all of you asking just when you can watch the film — it will be available on iTunes sometime this fall!

  • You can see of Casey’s updates on her blog HERE
  • You can read all about the film HERE and HERE! 

An Open Letter To My Husband

Dear Mr. Darling,

I know, immediate wife fail. I am waking up on the strip, in one of the nicest hotels in Las Vegas on Father’s Day. I win Mom of the Year. I am sure in this moment you are enjoying an overflowing bowl of cheerios on a tray with a small glass of juice made by Zoe and McKenzie. I know M was very worried over just that would help her make you breakfast.

But I didn’t fail completely. You will have a special delivery around noon, it’s one of your favorite things and your gift and cards are in my dresser, third drawer down. I know, you’re welcome and I love you too. See? At least I was ahead of the game!

Even thought I may be away on Father’s Day, I wanted to take this moment to say thank you. First, for not being mad at me for having to be away during your holiday. Second, for putting up with this crazy hectic week as I prepared to head to the west coast and leave you with all 5 kids. You’re super-Dad, you can handle it!

Moving on to the sappiness. Get your tissue love! I love you (obvi)but I want to say thank you for all you do. Even though you may reside on the couch slightly more then me, I will look past that and think of the moments you come to my side during 2 year old tantrums, a teething baby, distracting the kids so I can sneak a shower, letting me sleeping in on the weekends, cooking dinner almost every night, weekends included.

READ THE REST OF MY LETTER HERE……..

Pardon the Dust….

……in the middle of a re-design……

which means…….

……..posting is on hold until well…..it’s pretty.

until it gets a facelift………

…….lots of love…….

// xoxo, Casi //

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Facing Reality, Finding Faith and Being Thankful For The Little Things

// today I am over on Babble with a post that comes straight from the heart. read my thoughts on the news today, facing reality + being thankful for the little things. like grayson’s first real smile  // 

faith quote Today was mind-blowing, heart wrenching, and just beyond words. My heart was broken today. My stomach in knots. Waiting for my littles to get home safe from school felt like an eternity.

20 children. 20 helpless children. 20 empty beds tonight. Hearts broken that will never be put back together. I can’t imagine what went on in that elementary school today. I can’t imagine the fear as 5 year olds ran for their lives. And than I thought of my very own. I can’t imagine the hurt those parents are feeling knowing that in one second their lives changed forever. I can’t imagine. 

{head over to read the rest on Babble}

and see Grayson’s first smile too….

hey, at least it’s something warm + fuzzy for the heart on this sad day.

my weekend via my iphone

grayson is home. monday was kinda insane. hubs got his cast on and is completely immobile. totally makes me feel like a single mom. thanksgiving chaos has begun and well work — it’s insane as always. but, here’s a peek into this past weekend, hospital stay included.

 

pink bow flats: c/o talbots | ikat red mug: c/o mikasa | cute babies: c/o me

24 Hours in the Hospital with my 6 Week Old. It’s Never Fun.

Right before heading to the doctor’s office on Friday afternoon, the last thing I remember doing was updating my Facebook status with a little something that went like this: was thinking. as we head to the doctors yet again. they really should give out punch cards. every 4th visit comes with complimentary xanax for the mother. or something like that. Needless to say, it was a few hours later when I really could have used something to relax.

Friday morning I noticed that Grayson was unusually fussy. He wouldn’t let me put him down and he was just crying, like he was in pain. This is so not him; he is always very content. I thought he felt a little warm so I decided to take his temperature. Needless to say, he had a fever: 100.9 to be exact. For most, this isn’t a big deal. But for a 6-week-old preemie who would only be 2 weeks if he made his due date, it’s kind of a big deal. I immediately called the doctor to schedule an appointment and in the meantime, I gave him Tylenol. A few hours later when we arrived at the doctor’s his temperature was 101. One thing I should re-rewind and mention is the heart monitor warning. I told you here how Grayson wears a heart monitor for two reasons: acid reflux and sleep apnea. Well the alarm goes off for three reasons: he stops breathing for 20 seconds, his heart rate increases, and his heart rate decreases. In the last 12 hours prior to the doctor’s visit Grayson has been “alarming” (as we call it) more than usual. He had stopped breathing 5 times, twice in which I had to stimulate him in order to get him to breathe again. VERY scary. VERY. Especially when I could see him changing color, close to blue. Most of the time the sleep apnea causes this to happen and he always self-corrects. But a few times he needed me to wake him up, pat him or yell his name in order to remind him to breathe. It’s a true moment of panic for any mom. This is a common issue with premature babies and as they develop they grow out of this; however, it can also be a sign of infection.

Knowing this, I figured we’d be seeing the hospital. And sure enough, my doctor heard those few little comments about changing color, alarming, fever and well, it got us admitted to the hospital Friday night. Three hours later Grayson was hooked up to monitors, IV fluids, and we were waiting on blood, urine and spinal tap results. RSV was immediately negative and there was nothing else they could see that was causing this fever which had all of us, doctors included, very worried, which is why the spinal tap had to be done. I was really just hoping it was something obvious and was pulling for something as simple like an ear infection. As his fever continue to climb to 101.9, I was scared. As always, I have an amazing support system of family and friends that help keep the faith, but having a little one in the hospital unexpectedly is never a fun way to start the weekend. Not to mention I was completely solo. Earlier in the day, my husband broke his right foot. Oh, and a toe too. The x-ray showed his foot and toe were broken into 15 pieces. Literally shattered. So, needless to say, he was at home completely immobile. Yep, when it rains it pours in our house.

As the night went on, we waited for test results which seemed to take forever. Blood and urine came first and everything was fine. However, his white blood cell count was slightly elevated, which is why they decided to do a chest x-ray and spinal tap. While they waited they started him on IV fluids and an antibiotic, just to play it safe as we waited for results on the spinal tap which was one of the worst things I’ve had to watch as a parent. In the past, it’s sad to say that two of my littles have had to go through it as well and spent various times in the hospital. Well, usually you are asked to leave the room and this time, I was asked to stay to help hold him into place. I will be honest, I am usually a very strong person but watching such a little guy go through such a painful procedure just made me want to burst into tears. Talk about an awful feeling and horrible thing to watch. Needless to say after much anticipation we found out he had rhino virus which he most likely caught from another person who was carrying the virus or was sick. Rhino virus for us is just a cold. But because he is just a little guy with a not so great immune system, it hit him much harder. Luckily for us, he lost his fever the next morning and we got the okay to head home. I was thankful. Very thankful considering Sadie, my second youngest, earned herself a two-week stay in the NICU from rhino virus last year. It is not a fun one to fight off and I am just praying Grayson continues to make progress fighting off the virus.

Since we’ve been home last night, he has only spiked a little bit of a fever and seems to be on the way to feeling better soon! We head to the doctor’s in the morning for a follow-up and are just happy he is okay. The hospital is never a place I want to spend my weekend. But it did give me some extra down time to snuggle sweet baby Gray.

Take a peek into our hospital stay via my iPhone. 

love this messy face. snapped this right when he finished eating but couldn’t resist those eyes.